Elementary Student (Sofia)
Daily Report November 27th, 2032 Today is just like every other day. I stayed home. I woke up tired, even though I didn’t do anything beyond routine the day before. But I’m always waking up tired so, I guess that’s routine too. My alarm rang out at 7:55 am, and I logged onto school at 8:00 am; any later, and the AI facilitator would deduct marks from my overall grade since tardiness is a punishable offence.
It's 8:30 am, and I’m already distracted. My phone is on my nightstand table, and I can’t stop thinking about that retro Angry Birds game I downloaded last night. My hands are itching to play it so, instead, I thrum my fingers below my laptop’s keyboard. My mind often wanders, and I usually find myself staring out the window, thinking about all the adventures and fables I’ve read about and how they all happened outside. Maybe, when I’m done my education session, I’ll go for a walk.
The computer’s camera blinks rapidly, like a flashlight, bringing my attention back to the AI facilitator and the on-going history lesson about the Greek civilization. That blinking light was the proctor telling me to pay attention. Distraction is also a punishable offence. So I think my grade just dropped a bit. Personally, I think that’s a dumb rule. It doesn’t prove anything because I can still be tuned-out while my eyes are on the screen, which is exactly what I do. They’re not teaching me how to pay attention, they’re teaching me how to beat the system by being sneaky.
This time, I don’t let my eyes stray from the screen as my mind wanders the the bed time stories my big brother John tells me. Last night, John told me that when he was my age, there was no AI facilitator, instead there would be a real class with 20 face2face students in one room learning from a real face2face teacher. John says that the teachers weren’t as smart as our AI facilitators now, but that somehow it was still better before. John told me that when he went to school, he actually had to leave the house and walk a few blocks to get to school. He told me that his classmates used to whisper and joke around with each other by passing notes and doodles when the teacher wasn’t looking. It sounds too unbelievable to be true. I wish I had a time machine to visit these “good old days” that John and mom and dad talk about. I wish I had classmates… I have "virtual pals" who I play games with but its not the same as it was for John. My virtual friends and I text, and that is usually reduced to virtual waves and emojis, I don’t even know what their voices sound like or if they’re not catfishing me.
I usually can’t see any stars at night because of all the light pollution, but I know they are there, and I wish upon them SO bad for classmates. John told me that when they changed the system, they thought it would be better for AI to make every student an individualized learning plan so that every student can learn at their own pace and in their own way.
So, most of my F2F interactions are with my family (Mom, Dad, and John). Dad actually works outside at the nearby power plant and usually works overtime since we could use the extra money. John told me that Mom used to work outside, but when I was about 5 years old, she stopped because I wouldn’t stop crying when she would leave. Soon after, I was diagnosed with high separation anxiety disorder, and I haven’t stopped taking those small yellow pills since. Mom gives me double the daily dose on the days she has to go out, hoping that it’ll knock me out. I don’t know why but I just feel so alone when she leaves. It’s like I realize just how much of a dark and cold void it is without her making noise around the house.
It’s winter here, so by the time I close the computer at 3:30 pm, the sun is starting to set. It's freezing, but I still want fresh air, so I put on a coat. I walk around the block, the streets are quiet, and there are a few people here and there. I can feel my anxiety spiking. I’m afraid they’ll nod my way or want to chit-chat, like my parents sometimes do with the older neighbours. I never know what to say or how long a conversation should last. Luckily, I notice they’re younger than me because they’ve got “iPhone neck”, which is when their heads droop forward in a bowed state from staring down at your phone too long. Their phone illuminates their faces and I stare. It terrifies me to even acknowledge their presence, but I also find that a part of me wants to say “hi”. But I don’t. My anxiety wins again.
As I lie in bed, I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if I said “hi”. Would I have made an actual face-to-face friend? Could it be that easy? I feel like that is as unlikely as running into one of the mythical creatures I was learning about today in history class. I don’t even know what to feel anymore: I’m tempted to know what it's like to have a F2F friend, but I also wouldn’t know how to act around one. When John talks about his F2F friends I feel like I’m missing out. I mean, what is the worst things that could happen if I just try?
Signing off, A real person living in a pixelated world